just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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