Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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