I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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