dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
