I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
he fucked my hip out of place.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
