you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize