We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
