Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
