I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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