I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
