I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
