Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i already hear my dad disowning me
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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