Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize