I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
