So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
