so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
