i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
