We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
why do cheetos always look like penises
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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