Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
