ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
