I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
