There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
