The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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