are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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