I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
