i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
