Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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