I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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