No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
