loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
