he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
