we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
