My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
