whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
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