Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
