I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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