God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
