If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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