you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
