I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize