well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I believe in your delicious
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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