Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Randomize
