I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
