so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
