im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
40s are totally the cure
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
