I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
What a fucking waste of an outfit
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Randomize
