my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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