Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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