i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
