We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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