I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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