Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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