Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
