i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
