Tell her she can't have a vagina
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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