You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
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