She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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