You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
