i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize