I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
be right there i have to get my cape
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
