I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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