That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
