I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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