im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
