Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
