lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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