Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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