Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
