I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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