if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
