# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
